If he doesn't answer, chances are that he wasn't intending on contacting you anyway. Sometimes men play hard to get too! Wait a few days to see if this in fact is the case. Timing is key. Finding "the one" usually comes from being at the right place at the right time.
This can be disappointing if he unfortunately meets his true love right after your first date. Though he may have had a good time with you on your date, he may have also found someone else who is more compatible. Some guys are just afraid of commitment.
They meet a girl, and then back out when they start to develop any feelings towards her. Keep dating until you find that guy who will call you!
You deserve your man to chase after you! If I am not interested in someone I tell them. I will have to see him again and when I do, I wont let it bother me. Actions to me speak louder than words. Actions speaks to me — about your creator and who you are. Not answering someone text is rude and shows again what you might expect going forward.
Many of you ladies have been waiting months, some years and some minutes. You are much better than that. If he wants you , you wont have to chase him. You wont have to wait for his next call or text.
Never put all your eggs in one basket. Continue on with your life and find someone worthy of your time. I am very open with my feelings…. I realize that I have issues with self confidence and am trying really hard to feel more confident…. Unfortunately the rules are an ugly truth. Im a happy camper now by living religiously by them.
The promises are being manifested in my life. Sabrina Alex you have been a great mentor in my life so far. You have great. Advice to give to people. And I would just like to say thank you for your time.
I have waked up an realized a lot in my past relationship. There are these strange creatures called introverts. One ex-co-worker once told me that people dating should be seeing each other every week. Arbitrary time limits do nothing but send away people who actually do like you. I believe in taking your time, no matter how long. Yes we may call first and initiate anything, a guy may like us and feel excited but..
He will never fall in love this way. Sad but true.. He even came outside to ask me how I was once! I love your site. You have some great advice. Are you ready? I am 63yrs old and learning to date again. Guess what all the same rules still apply! We are all still talking about why do they not call or text…dated a wonderful guy once. He chased me online for a year. I finally said yes and we had an awesome time. Then nothing! I sent him a text no answer tried to keep it light.
No answer Then I sent him atext saying how much I thought we enjoyed each other, how my life is too busy to be sending texts to a guy and not getting answers. He finally text me and said he had been sick and stuff was going on at work. The next text to him no answer… I told him I was done. At our age I call this games. I know he likes me and he knows I like him. Help an old lady what do you think????
Keep your mind focused on other things that make you happy, and hey, maybe even try a new hobby? You can tell him about some great new recipe you tried, or how you just planted a small herb garden or volunteered at a local shelter. This is just what I would do. I ultimately knew in my heart he would be back, so that probably made the not speaking part easier, but hey, maybe my experience can help you out.
Good luck :. I am 61 and, like you, have found that men at ANY age are the same. I think that women need to realize that men only live in the moment and are not multi-taskers. Women can be at work but also think about their man. I am dating someone who has been in love with me for 13 years, I was married at this time. He told me about his feelings, and how he has waited all these years for me he never married during this time.
We see each other on the weekends but he never calls during the week. I expected to have this yes, even at my age whirlwind fairy tale romance. But no. Simply stated. I know that sometimes it is extremely difficult to do, but we, as women, just have to be secure in ourselves, take things as they come and basically relax. If anything IS meant to be, it will happen — things have a way of working themselves out — probably not in the way we want or in the time we want, but eventually it will — trust yourself and your instincts.
Good words to live by in ANY aspect of your life. CR, such a wonderful post, thanks! Have self-respect. Do not rush things. What is meant to happen — will happen. Man is a chaser, not a woman. This is how it has been designed. There are exceptions, of course. If you ladies have rush to try things — go ahead and call him, see what happens.
Sabrina and that guy did not stay together btw. If having a guy for a few month is your plan, maybe calling him makes sense. Just remember, modern dating dynamics has produced a lot of complicated garbage people dwell on. Just like that. Thank you for your story. I feel that I am going through a very similar experience right now. I would still hear from him on and off every couple of months or close to a year, but I always wondered why is he contacting me?!
The time we hung out after the initial coffee get-together, I noticed he was really nervous around me and conversation became a little forced and boring and both of us wanted to call an early night, but we ended up seeing a movie waaay later than we had planned. But this last time we hung out, the feeling has been a little bit different. He gave me a hug for the first time since I had known him, and I felt sparks just from hugging him.
Judging from the smile and look he gave me, I felt that maybe he felt something too. Aw, this was a very nice post. Spending some time and actual effort to make a really good article… but what can I say… I put things off a whole lot and never seem to get nearly anything done. Waiting for the call is absolutely the worst feeling wver. Ive met his family and everything.
I kind of confrontws him about it and he said he missed me. I came back to town and he even missed work for two days to be with me. At the end of those days he told me to call gim when I got home and I forgor so he twxted asking if I was ok. I decides to stop texting and calling. I really donr know what ro do. Hey everyone. God bless you all. Its like you read my mind! You seem to know so much about this, like you wrote the book in it or something. I think that you could do with ssome pics to drive the message home a bit, bbut other than that, this is great blog.
I went on a date with a guy on saturday via online dating site. We had good banter through emails, and met two weeks after that. The date was great, I could tell he was really into me, and he even extended the date to have dinner. He paid for the meal I insisted to split, he refused , he was really interested in me asking me about my family, goals etc and we exchanged funny stories about childhood and life.
He was like putty in my hands. Anyway as the date came to a close by getting taxi together he was the first stop he paid for the fare, hugged me and kissed me on the cheek. He looked at me through the window an said speak soon twice.
Twenty minutes later he text me saying he had a lovely evening and thanked me. I sent him a text message saying I enjoyed the night etc. So now what? What should I do next? Omg same story here but then after 2 days he did not call me, i think its because i told him that i was going to spend time with my friend who came to visit me from far away but then i was like why he does not message me.
Then i messaged him, after few secs he answered me and I even lied to him that my friend went away so then he can ask me out. But till now, he does not call me and i already said to myself i wont call him.
But i saw on his facebook he is out with his friends. Only guys he was with…. I dont know what to do. I really like him so much. This was awhile ago but I met a guy when we were home on summer break from college. I was working two jobs and he had to wait a month before I had a day off from both jobs to even go out. We had a blast and decided that we would meet up again during Christmas break we both went away to school one on east coast one on west coast.
He was very happy that I called him. We ended up dating for 5 great years! Heck yeah! Are men really that fake? Ella, he sounds like a travelling salesman to me. Did he get sex? If not, that may be why he is showing no interest. I knew a guy who sent good morning texts to many women at once! I being one of them.
So annoying. He could also be married or have a live in supply girlfriend. I would not waste my time even bothering to worry about someone like this. I never have given them my body unless married and I am glad I stuck to this rule!
A little hand holding and kissing is all they get unless I have the ring on my finger and the license recorded! Are you of this same thinking? I am now a widow who has been looking for the right man and think I found him on a Christian dating site.
He is handsome, tall, slim, a cowboy, and very respectful of honoring God in our relationship. I really like him! I hope you find the right guy too! Hi, thx for the reply. So as an outsider, let me ask if he set something firm for a second date or did he just mention the idea? Let him call you sometimes too. I know that we live in this e-communication age but letting a guy call you and then saying you appreciate it is also good to do.
If he keeps texting let him know you enjoy hearing from him via text but it would feel good to hear his voice sometimes as well. And see what he does. It gives him more to do to pursue you. And personally I no longer believe in initiating contact with a guy before a committed relationship has formed.
Thx for your reply! Well he asked me if I wanted to see him again. Like I wanna write him but then again I dont want to seem needy but I rarely ever text him first… so i dont know. Personally if a guy I like does this, I wait to hear from him even if it meant I would have to risk missing a date. If I like him a lot, I want to have him work and show him he should firm up instead of leaving me hanging.
Never the day of though. I wish I had known you were still available. It works if they are interested; you just have to show them how to treat you. So me and my two friends went to a local bar and had a few drinks together. While sitting outside I noticed a guy sitting alone smoking a cigarette. He was really cute and didnt appear to have showed up with anyone so I struck up conversation with him. Right off the bat we really hit it off. He was super friendly, and even let me have a few of his cigarettes while we chatted.
We had so much in common, he happened to grow up in the same city as me etc. He was soo funny, and really easy to get along with. He even stuck around and hung out with me and my friends just sharing stories, and getting to know each other for about 30 min after he finished his drink. I mean he could have left, right? So , me and my friends are about to leave to go to another bar and I really like this guy so I asked him for his number and he said of course!!..
I was so excited to call him and I thought for sure he would be excited too! I waited a week to call. On a friday night and he didnt answer. So two days later, I sent a text. And He has an Iphone so I was able to see wether or not he read it…and he did…. Guys who are indifferent about you will forget to call because they had a super busy week. Guys who are mad about you, and will treat you like a princess if given the chance, will call the next day.
I was treated like a princess with this man I was seeing for 1 month then he dumped me then took me back, but the way it is going is very strange. He took me for an expensive dinner sat night then drove me home as he was tired from work. He gave me a peck in the car and when he dropped me off his health is not good. He bought me a bike, clothes, gave me cash, took me for many dinners, bought me food, bought me a crystal necklace with earrings set at a greek festival, told me Im very pretty many times, was very romantic but the thing is this man cannot have sex!
So he ended it after 1 month from this problem but hes stating it was also me. No plan for another date and that was 3 days ago and no call since! He normally only calls to take me out…. Gets better each time I watch as a reminder. Guys have the same anxiety as we do. I think they live in the moment more so and for my part, I know I tend to think a little farther ahead.
Not helpful. Is this true? Is it true for us older gems in the dating arena, or the and somethings? I currently met some one Ive known for a while, and we met for lunch. He mentioned to me what my schedule was like through the week, and how pretty I was at the time of the luncheon. What do I do? Please help. We were talking lots for the first few months, then a bit of a curveball — he sent me a really thoughtful birthday present.
We talked more and things seemed really good. But after a while things faded, I reached out a few times and it seemed that the conversation flowed for a little bit but then there would be another long gap before a text or call. The longest being right now, I went on holiday during the Christmas holidays and he knew about it, even said he was sad I was leaving, but when I got back, not a peep!
I am recently going through a divoice after 15 years of marriage. I have know this Man who is 11 years older than me for about 10 years. Well he is recently out of his releationship as I am mine. We hooked up and have been seeing each other causally for almost 3 months. We both decided that due to us just coming out of long releationshlips that we would just enjoy each others company. I feel like I am the one always contacting him.
However he does respond to me each time I contact him quickly. But If I do not contact him first it can go a week with out contact. He seems happy to hear from he when I contact him. I guess I am confused. I do not know how to go about this since I have been out of practive for such a long time. Should I just keep doing what I am doing and contact him first? Sometimes he does contact me first but it is rare.
I do not want to come off as needy because I am not but I do like what we have going on and do not want to loose that. Any advise is appreciated. In the past he has been quite clear with the fact that he does like me. And still he keeps mentioning things like that certain songs or so reminds him of me. We exchanged number 2 weeks ago and messages each other a couple of times in a sort of friendly, funny and a bit of flirty kind of way.
Then a few days after I felt an impulse to ask him out and so I did. We met the day after, for the first time, in real life. It was quite nice. He seemed a bit shy but he was very attentive towards me and all. He hugged me when we met and he gave me a good bye hug.
When I came home I started to think about what had happen. I started to fall for him badly, the more I thought about our meeting. But he logged out before I could reply. Then the days passed by and I felt like crazy. I decided to send him a message telling ; that it was fun seeing each other and that we have to do it again sometime. No reply… but later that night he got online again and said he had gotten a message from me, but had troubles reading it as the display on his phone has broken down.
I told him what I had written about it was fun seeing each other and that we have to do it again…. I was expecting more enthusiasm. I just want him to be a close friend, you know hang out, do fun things together, laugh and just talk about anything. Because I feel open and impulsive and brave for the moment. So should I contact him again or should I just sit there and wait and wait and turning crazy in the process? How should I proceed from here?
Mirabelle, you were in communication with this man for 8 years off and on, and he never asked to see you? Any available man who had an interest would have met you within a few weeks not years! Stop nagging yourself over him, join an online dating site, and realize there is a sea of men out there looking for the right lady.
I joined a Christian dating site and have had my pick of men. No kidding! It certainly helps with withdrawals over the wrong man and those nagging thoughts where we blame ourselves for their fickleness! Now I have a sweetie that I picked out from over six hundred profiles! We have now been dating for two months and he calls every night. A real gentleman and so handsome!
You will find the right one too! If a shy guy talks about the past history of the two of you with you, does this means that he is still into you? Hi, I am new to this site and have been reading some of the comments trying to find one similar to my own situation but I thought best to just submit my own. Basically I met a guy 4 years ago and not long after, he wound up going to prison for something he was later acquitted of. Anyway, I visited him throughout and assumed that we would be together when he came out.
However this wasnt the case as he felt he needed to focus on his life when he came out and work hard to accomplish himself and be at the stage he needs to be. He says he will soon be where he wants to be and at that point he could consider giving me what I need. He feels that he is not in a position to at the moment. Over the years we have come in and out of each others lives, him saying he will try harder to give me what I need but then it never seems to be enough.
The truth is, I am ready to settle down now, I want to do it all with him; holidays, living together, marriage, children etc. He has said in the past that I am too demanding, but I feel that I just know what I want and how I expect to be treated. I seem to have these ideals of how a man should treat a woman that he wants and respects.
We recently regained contact and seeing him has brought all of my emotions to the surface again. I am trying so hard to remain cool and not call or message him but it hurts when I want to hear from him and I dont, when I want to see him but I cant. Should I continue to wait?
I am being too demanding? Surely two adults who care so much about one another should just be able to express their emotions naturally without always being so concerned about how it will be perceived. Thanks in advance for your responses. Either way, have a good time with him, but keep your options open for other guys. And that was really worth it? Thank you so much for saying exactly what I was thinking. He definitely got what he wanted…. Absolutely agree with you! She sounded pretty desperate especially considering how the guy behaved on the phone.
Get some self-respect girl! If the time with him had been that great you guys would still be together. Calling him only delays the inevitable. Side Note: I was really disappointed upon learning they were together for only a few months. As a woman, I want a guy who is as into me as I am into him.
Just to add, but it seems that the whole article is just making excuses for the guy. And he did get to sleep with you. Please help me! He added me to the whatsapp. He never talked to me. I noticed he was nervous but too close to me while sitting on the table. What do you think? So I noticed some of you mentioned rules and breaking rules. What kind of rules are they and where can I find more information?
I met this awesome, funny guy through a friend, we went out[ the 3 of us] a few times and then he asked me if i wanna go out with him. We went for a casual stroll in the park,we laughed, we really hit it off, he even looked on a compatibility site and we started laughing at how well our signs match. And then boom! What is it about men?? I am going thru something similar! So I met a guy online, he was lovely and we spoke for three months without actually meeting. We exchanged phone calls and texts daily and even regularly skyped.
So three months later three months because he always flakes , we eventually met, but because our plans fell through we ended up watching Dvds at his place. Yes we had sex. I texted him the same night and he ignored me and only responded the next day. I have texted him three times, and tried to speak to him on Skype….. He obviously ignored me as he was online.
But what do you guys think? I dont understand. Actually it really just depends on the guy. I did the same thing. Dwelled on it for a day and finally admitted it happened because I wanted it to. When the drama was over, he called. Not all guys are jerks. I just lived my life and he showed back up! I met this guy on online dating site.
He turned out to live only 20 min away from me. We met in the town where I live and went for a walk. We got on really well, laughed and talked a lot. I was attracted to him very much. On the way to our cars, we got some coffee and I payed for it, even though I saw he wanted to do it. We then exchanged 2 more texts just about random things, where I asked what he was doing for the rest of that same evening.
He replied and asked me the same and I gave an honest answer, by saying that nothing much, that I am just going to read a book… He never replied. I sent another message few hours later thinking that maybe he was just busy, and told him that I enjoyed our walk and talk that day… He never responded. I was really looking forward to meet him again. Now 2 days have passed and nothing. I have no idea what did I do or say wrong. I have been in a long distance relationship with a 67 yr old man, 2 years older than I.
We have been together for almost a year, talking marriage, etc. Out of the blue he chickens out and says we are going too fast. Then he stopped telling me he loved me. He said I was too insecure, that I had to work on that, although I caught him on dating web sites, trolling. Right now I just signed up again and he knows I will be in his house in less than 2 months. What is going on in this relationship?
Good luck. If you could find him, you will find someone else. Why would you waste your precious time even thinking about visiting such a man, are you a glutton for punishment? Flower White: OMG! I think im in love with you!! Your advice is interesting, and sounds exactly like my bff. Im desperately trying to learn to love myself as I was in a manipulative and abusive psychological and sometimes physical relationship with a guy who was 14 yrs older than me for 4 years.
Anyway…thanks for the advice. No mystery and you give him privy into your life…. You will have your answer. I was dating a guy for about a month and we went out a total of 7 times. Each time we met we both seemed to have a great time and really enjoyed eachothers company.
I really liked everything about him and am having a hard time believing he would just stop contacting me. Is it worth calling or emailing him for my own peace of mind or should I preserve my dignity and salvage any chance, no matter how small, by just forgetting about him? Sorry he chose to cut contact but a month is really nothing in the dating world. I do hope that you did not sleep with him! WHY would you further contact him? Billions of men in the world all you need is ONE.
It is , women should be able to contact a guy and not be seen as clingy. Why is always on the guy? NOW everything should be done in moderation. Both should give. Like you said men keep busy. It can be normal. It takes time for a man to learn that their woman appreciates him calling every day. Not only that, but remember this: a guy calling you every day is a form of emotional and physical commitment.
As such, it takes time to build up to that level of commitment. Men have a tendency to be more visual than auditory, since solving modern day problems require his vision much more so than his auditory senses. How he treats the women in these baskets are like night and day. He could not be calling you because the attraction and connection have faded, and eroded the great feelings that were once in the relationship.
Sometimes, if enough negative things happen leading to negative associations piling on top of each other , it wears away at the connection. Relationships and emotional closeness can often feel more intuitive to us as women than it does for men.
The masculine energy generally seeks to feel empty, whereas the feminine seeks to fill up. Can you feel how these two differences between the masculine and feminine energy could be in deep conflict with one another? Is your man serious about committing to you? Sitting there obsessing. To stop right now. To just stop obsessing. You have my permission! However, I wanted to quickly help you establish the right mindset first and to feel more resourceful. Surrender to what is hard, and do the work to connect with yourself by acknowledging exactly how vulnerable you feel.
Build a healthy, accepting intimate relationship with your own deepest, most vulnerable feelings that you seek to avoid. This will reduce the tension in your body and allow your body to relax and soften. You see, sometimes men or your intimate relationship, can bring up the absolute WORST stuff inside of you. A lot of it is just normal stuff that happens to most of us women, because dating the opposite sex comes with emotions and risk. Many women before you have tragically felt the pain of a man who withdrew from her.
Many women have had bleeding hearts because they loved a man and he disappeared for good. Whether your man is pulling away for good reasons to feel like himself again after being emotionally close to you, or to do what he feels is the most important thing as a man , what matters is YOU. What matters is that YOU get to an emotionally resourceful place as soon as you can.
What matters is that you do your best to add value to yourself and connect with yourself and your feelings like we just discussed above. This is so that you can show up high value, rather than low value. So please, do not judge yourself or think this is bad…it is just a journey. The first step to getting to a more emotionally resourceful place is to first cleanse yourself of emotions you are not truly allowing yourself to feel.
I want you to know that it is OK that you feel ANY of these things when a man pulls away, becomes distant and cold, and just goes quiet:.
Anything is OK to feel, just not to unleash on others. And if you do unleash, keep in mind that that would be abuse. A feminine and radiant woman who feels a little more balanced and at peace. As such, we need to MEET that need for certainty, by getting you to retreat to somewhere safe to feel everything. Obsessing over him in ANY way is simply a way of blocking out the feelings. If you find yourself really anxious when dating a guy, you may have anxious attachment style.
Find out if you do and learn more by reading about mastering how to self soothe anxious attachment. Well, let me suggest to you right now that it IS OK to feel. You need to be present with your feelings before you can become more balanced in this relationship situation.
The certainty you seek by obsessing over him is a need that can be met through valuing feeling your feelings. Your feelings are here to serve you! Let the beauty and the freedom of this memory melt into every cell in your body, reminding you or your true worth and value.
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